Paul Newman 1/26/25 - 9/26/08

I recently asked my brother to name one rich person who isn't an asshole... He fired back quicker than I expected and said... Paul Newman. It was an easy answer because he knows that he was a hero of mine, but still he's right. I was deeply saddened this morning to hear that he has passed away. Ordinarily, I feel that the people who have the least give the most, there is of course a few exceptions. Not only was he my favorite actor, he was in inspiration.

Quick anecdote: As most of you know, My family runs a camp for families affected by AIDS/HIV. Paul Newman's "Hole in the wall" camps are for children with life threatening illnesses. We have had a couple kids at our camp that have also attended his. Now, I only bring this up because I hold him in such high regard... We get pats on the back, and "wow, that's great, what you do" Whatever, that's not why we do it. This little story is my favorite compliment that I've ever received...
The Hole in the Wall camps have millions at there disposal because of his generosity. We on the other hand get by on whatever we can scrape together. A couple years ago, I asked one particular camper about his experience at the Hole in the Wall, he said that is was fun, the cabin's were air conditioned, they had video games, internet, celebrity appearances, everything a kid could want... But that he liked our camp better. I was stunned, and am not ashamed to admit that it brought a tear to my eye. You see, when Jen and I started out as councellors, it was an emotional thing to be a part of. We'd get choked up just thinking about our experiences with the campers. Over time, and now as directors, we've hardened and are a lot less likely to have our heart-strings tugged. To think that our humble Healing Community could be preferred to my personal hero's million dollar camp experience! Wow.

I don't bring this up to brag, because what we do pales in comparison to what he has done for people all over the world. I'd like to think that if I was in position that I wouldn't do anything differently. Doing it and thinking it are two entirely different things. Thank You, Paul Newman, you will be missed.

I hate being a Mets fan.

I couldn't bring myself to talk about the anything yesterday. The Met's absolutely crush me on a daily basis. Well, they got through Chicago yesterday and are still hanging on to a tie for the wildcard. Whatever happens it won't sting as much as last year. I don't realistically see them winning the world series, that being said... Every game for about a month now has felt like a playoff game, so they have been accustomed to tense, nail-biting, drama. Maybe they can pull it out. I wish they'd just win or lose, this up and down rollercoaster is affecting my mood every day.

Artistically I've been out of my rut and on a bit of a roll. I have been drawing alot. I'm really happy with what I've been doing. I just need to ink the sketches and paint them with watercolor. Once I get that done you can expect to see a few illustrations on here, they're fishing related but I figure fuck it, I wanna do what I like and eventually people will come around. Or not, but it makes me happy.

Boo Fucking Hoo

I read last night that Roger Clemens was "heart-broken" not to be included in the Yankee Stadium closure festivities. It made my night. He truly is a self obsessed, Texas moron. To think with all the negative attention that would have brought on a historic event, he truly thought he'd be included. What an immature, me-me-me, clueless, bore. Almost everyone else involved with the steroid scandel has come clean, appologized and moved on. At least the ones who have been absolved or forgiven have anyway. So, he maintains innocence although he's on trial for purgery... Even if he's cleared on a technicality, I hope he twists in the wind for a long time, and it hurts his hall of fame status. He can hang out with Mark Mcgwire and cry about it. Why do these guys think they are above doubt? To me the funny part was that he had to watch the last game at Yankee Stadium on a battery powered TV, from his powerless home in Texas. I like to think of it as a touch of kharma coming back to him, maybe for the Piazza beanball or bat throwing incident?

Oh and Clay Aiken is gay... Didn't see that one coming. Who will come out of the closet next? George Micheal? I think the only person unaware of that was Clay himself. Well, glad you feel you can be yourself now Clay. Congratulations on your people magazine cover.

So long Yankee Stadium

No more games played at Yankee Stadium... I'm not gonna watch the coverage but I'm sure there are crying Yankee fans. Ordinarily this is something I cherish. I didn't care to see or hear that troll, Susan Waldman. Or hear Micheal Kay talk about the memories and miss-pronounce "Rodgereekez" Or hear God Bless America for the thousanth time instead of Take Me Out to the Ballgame. But it's an espn game and... The only commentators I hate more than the afformentioned personalities are those two idiots, Joe Morgan and his Professor Honeydew sidekick. It's a tragedy that they get to call this historic game.

As far as the tears... The fans shouldn't be sad to see the old stadium go... They should be sad that they'll never be able to afford a ticket again. Someday I may eat my words but... Do you think Boston would ever tear down Fenway? Or Chicago tear down Wrigley? Nah, Me niether. I can understand the need for a new ball park. Shea is finally being put out of it's misery at the end of this season too. Except with Shea it's like finally throwing out an ugly impractical suit you've owned since the seventies. I'll spare you all my Yankee angst and just say this... It has got to be bad kharma to tear down Yankee Stadium, doesn't it? One can only hope.

689-673

Well, Anonymous, Since you've asked, I'll explain where I'm at... And then use your question as a springboard to a rant. If you are who I think you are... I think you could do a better job than me, and should quit pulling strings behind the scenes, register in NJ, and do it!

Apparently, I never got the memo... 30 year old, tattoo artist/non-profit directors, with 2 little kids, do not run for public office.

Running for Stillwater Township committee was quite an experience. At a time in my life where I felt I had nothing to lose, I ran and lost... And it was the best thing that could have happened. It was gut wrenching, stressful, and a lot like jumping in the deep end of the pool for the first time. On one hand, I would stand a good chance of being elected if I ran again. On the other, why would I want to include myself in the current committee's self inflicted turmoil?

My Answer...
Although I'm flattered. It's Simple. I like my life as it is right now. My heart bleeds for our town, but I can not at this time justify the level of commitment required.

Beating a dead horse...
I want to enjoy being right about our former mayor, "Boss Hogg", for a little while.
For the record... He is a Napoleonic carpet-bagger, a liar, a coward, a bully, an ego-maniac, a closet drunk, and above all... A sad man. And I would have liked to show him to the town limits when he left. I hope the door did hit him in the ass on his departure. He never cared about Stillwater. He only needed to fill the void in his life created by retirement. Our small town and its municipal building were the unfortunate victims of his short comings. I'd like to tattoo "cheaper today than it will be tomorrow" on his smug, cake eating face. That felt GREAT to say! Ha.

When I'm alone sometimes I go over things that I did in my campaign in my head. The only two things I would have done differently that would have altered the course of the election results and coincidentally Stillwater's history would have been:
1. Explain bullet voting to people who I knew were 100% supporters of mine.
2. Picked up and drove to the polls just the people I know who didn't have a license.

16 votes! I lost to an incumbent, republican, CEO by 16 votes. Whether I'm thought of as an underachiever or a late bloomer or a fuck up, I got 673 more votes than a lot people more qualified than myself, because I'm not afraid to put my money where my mouth is. I think that there were only a handful of people that gave me good odds of being elected. I represented what people felt but weren't willing to say. The 673 votes cast for the underdog were inspiring to me, but it fell on deaf ears on the committee level. Re-election fueled their ignorant arrogance.

I'll be back. When the time is right. I will run again. For right now, you tell me... what's better? Being the Mayor of Stillwater or... "The Mayor of Stillwater"... I know what Bill Morrison would say.

The weekend.

Wedding was fun... I drank too much and knocked at least one lady over on the dance floor. Actually I accidentally kicked her in the ass cheek more than I knocked her over. She totally fucked up a sweet dance move.

Ah back at work, Busy earlier but have some time to update the blog, I'm really just procrastinating. I need to get back in a creative groove. Although I'm refreshed from the vacation time, I haven't drawn for the sake of drawing in too long. I've got some great ideas I want to put down on paper I just can't seem to make myself do it. I end up sitting down, doodling, and then checking my email, myspace, facebook, blog, and fly fishing forum instead. As convenient as modern amenities are... I need to blow them all up if I want to stay productive. Seriously, go off the grid and and just create. And I know it will never happen, I'd sit in the window and watch the dumpster cats at the shop almost get hit by cars full of mexicans going to the laundrymat, or day dream about catching fish. The difference between a rut and a groove is so subtle, but I'd say I'm in a rut.

Lake George

We'll be attending a wedding this weekend on a boat in Lake George... I promised Jen, no more fishing off the boat jokes. I like weddings, I usually make half an ass of myself on the dance floor, (my apologies if I attended your wedding and made a whole ass of myself.) And of course, I get my monies worth at the open bar. I can't even take myself seriously any more... as I'm writing this, I'm drinking vanilla flavored vodka and diet root beer. What a LOSER!

I hope this is one of those weddings where they play what the rowdy people wanna hear. I try to be cool when its obvious that the DJ has strict instructions not to play a single hip hop song but... Once the cake is cut, and the hallmark bullshit is over... I'd like to go on record as saying this: OLD PEOPLE DON'T HAVE FUN AT WEDDINGS SO WHO GIVES A SHIT WHAT THEY WANT TO HEAR. Oh, and if you could get a band if all you want to hear is hillbilly stuff, I can deal with that, at least then i won't keep asking the DJ to play "It takes two." I kid... But seriously I always feel like I just asked to hear 2Live crew or something. Who decided... YMCA people yes, you can hear your song. Oh hey, electric sliders, don't worry we didn't forget about you. Old Time Rock n' Roll, Absolutely. Mambo number 5, Si, No problemo. Oh well, Bring on the dirty looks. Let's hope for the best... And that Jen doesn't get sea sick.

Next Week

I'm looking to start some bigger tattoos now that summer is winding down... Let's get some outlines down so that when you're itching to get work done over the winter we can start blasting huge amounts of color!!!! Who's ready? It's the best time of year to get tattooed. No more worrying about swimming or sunburn. And with the kids back at college, were looking to hook people up!!!

Blah Blah Blah

Fished monday morning, I had become used to the water being gin clear. The rain muddied it up a bit and the only trout I saw were swimming away from my flies. That big elusive bastard is still there taunting me. Later that evening I checked out The Taste of Newton event, It was nice, good food. I've spent most of the last few days putting my foot in my mouth for one reason or another, so I figured I'd get some things off of my chest on here but then I sit down to vent and I got nuthin.

Rain.

I'm hoping the rain isn't that power outage, satellite searching for signal kind of rain... Is there anything worse than sitting in the dark and wishing that the power would come on? And then it does and all you can do is bitch because theres nothing good on TV anyway. Well, the streams are low so I guess I should be happy. I kinda hoped to wet a line on monday morning. Should improve my chances of catching that monster rainbow that my brother and I have been chasing. He is sooo leader shy, they don't get that big if they aren't picky. I want to catch him before some asshole and his kid land him on a tuna rod with a chunk of hotdog and then don't release him. I lose sleep if there is a car parked in the parking lot near my spot.
Since I'm on a roll here... I've recently realized that I'm old. I'm actually excited that we bought a new washer and dryer. When did that happen? And once they're hooked up... A new dishwasher! Woo hoo. Seriously, and it's as excited as I used to get over say... a new playstation or something. What have I become? When did hours of mindless wasted time get replaced by smaller laundry piles in my priority list? I need to get in touch with my inner child... Maybe I'll smash a mailbox on my way home tonite.

Customers...

I need some fresh ideas... I get pretty into Fish, Flowers, and Birds. How about something with a nature or outdoor flair, bold colors, and a sense of humor. Anyone got any input? No tribal, no black and grey crosses... Give me some material to work with!!!!!!! Like a... turtle driving a backhoe, or... I've always wanted to do a blue heron. Or... a flamingo. Or... a venus fly-trap. Anyone? Anyone?

2nd Day

Today went much smoother than yesterday on the preschool front. Tattooing... It's been a great couple days, fun art, challenging stuff. Some free hand tribal which I'm not usually too excited about doing, came out awesome. Thanks Jay. I find myself thinking about fishing alot, And I just got back from vacation. Thats not good. I need to get pictures of paintings I've done which are now in other peoples collections, So... If you have one send me a clean pic please!!! I need to put up some more artwork up before people become bored with my preschool saga.

First day of school.

Got a shitty nights sleep... Milla was confident when we woke up. Right up until it was time to go in she was reserved and obviously nervous. Then it was time to leave us and well, let's just say I thought it would go smoother. She's a tough cookie though... She made it thru and even smiled at pick-up and proclaimed she wouldn't cry tomorrow. We'll see! I hope she makes the most of it. If only she could understand how short 3 hours actually is. Ah parenting. If it's any comfort, maybe I'm dilluding myself... But I have no memory of my first day of preschool. So I either had such a bad experience that I repressed the entire experience or no matter how bad it was it wore off over time. Either way they say its always worse for the parents than the kids. If memory serves... I was and continue to be a stubborn pain in the ass, So she's just giving me a taste of my own medicine. Fair enough.

Back in business

Okay So Im back from vacation. Fished alot... Filled a dumpster with junk from around the house... Finished with the swingset... Had a bbq... And now I need to get this blog thing rolling. I underestimated how dedicated you have to be to post everyday. Keep watching for new pics as I get the hang of it.